\n
dear younger me, | \n\n | \n Six months ago, I weighed in at my highest weight of 201 pounds. Today, I finished my first Spartan race. \nSpartan races vary in length and difficulty levels. This particular Spartan was a series of 20 obstacles like rope climbing, spear throwing, a 7-foot climbing wall, weighted burpees, and hundreds of stairs. The obstacles were spread across a 3-mile path that took place at a large baseball stadium. \nCrossing the finish line today was not only one of the most significant moments of my year, but of my life. To understand why, we need to go back to about six months ago, before I ever had the idea of doing something like this... \n | \n
In March 2023, my health was probably the worst it’s ever been.
\nMy diet consisted of tons of restaurant, fast, and fried foods and daily desserts. I regularly used food as a coping mechanism, often eating until I physically couldn’t anymore. As a result of living like this for the past few years, I had gained 60+ pounds in a relatively short amount of time.
\nMy body felt stiff as a board and I experienced chronic pain each day. For months, I was in and out of urgent care and doctor appointments trying to diagnose and treat my frequent sicknesses, which were likely lifestyle-related and stress-induced.
\nMy immune system was also likely compromised due to my poor diet, high stress, and chronic lack of adequate sleep and rest.
\nLastly, I couldn’t really stand or walk for more than 20 minutes at a time without taking Advil or I would experience excruciating lower back pain.
\nAround this time, I had started going back to the gym but would stop pretty much anytime it wasn’t 100% convenient for me. As you can imagine, my lack of progress aptly reflected my inconsistent attendance.
\nI had known for a while that I needed to make drastic changes to the way I ran my business because of the effects it was having on my health, so in mid-March, I finally began that process on the business side. However, I was dragging my feet on making progress toward restoring my health.
\nThen, during the first week of April, I received one text from my coach and trainer Devyn that served as the catalyst for many of the positive changes to come.
\nI returned to the gym on April 3rd and by April 8th, it was no longer convenient and I was ready to revert to my old ways. I had skipped my workout from the day before and was enjoying my Saturday when Devyn messaged me to ask if I was going to make time to do my workout from the previous day. So, I got up, went to the gym, and did my workout from Friday.
\nI’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had an experience like this, but in that moment, I just made one seemingly small decision—that I wanted to learn what it meant to be committed—and from there my whole life began to change.
\nI feel like something shifted in me that Saturday afternoon because since that week, I have not missed a single one of the 78 workouts I’ve had since. I also go for walks every day now.
\nToday marks the 26th week of not missing a single workout, so I’ve officially made it to half a year, far exceeding any stretch of consistency I’ve had in the past. And most importantly, I’ve done it properly and sustainably this time. My relationship with food and my body are the best they’ve ever been.
\nI have grown stronger physically, mentally, and spiritually and what this has done for my confidence, my trust in myself, and my sense of self-efficacy, has truly been remarkable.
\nAfter a while, I became somewhat of a bystander in my own life. I was watching the effects of the choices I had made wreak chaos and havoc in my life. And often, those choices seemed harmless at the time I made them.
\nBut as time went on, I recognized when things weren’t aligning well with me anymore. But for years, it was so hard for me to walk away from habits, people, and situations that no longer supported me and who I was becoming. So, I’d stay. Much farther beyond the time I should have remained in those experiences. And the cost of staying could have well been the cost of the life I could have had and have always wanted to live.
\nFor a long time, I saw the events and chapters of my life as something that happened to me.
\nI was often not the change agent, but the one constantly being swayed and shifted by the people and circumstances around me. If they were good, then I was good and if they weren’t, then I wasn’t either.
\nAnd I don’t know, man. Something just shifted in me that Saturday afternoon in April and I just started walking along a different path.
\nGone were the days when the things I wanted (namely good grades in the past) just came easy because I was “smart.”
\nThis notion of having to work hard and sacrifice and continue showing up consistently for years was something I wanted to learn how to do well.
\nI had done it somewhat with my business, but as my good friend Sofía said to me on her birthday call today, “I knew I could have it all, and that’s what I wanted.”
\nI didn’t want to have the business at the expense of my health and I didn’t want my physical health at the expense of my mental health (which had happened in the past).
\nIt’s honestly hard to describe just how much my life has changed in the last six months.
\nIt started small. Real small:
\nI’d order the 3 piece tender meal from Rally’s instead of the 5 piece (the fries and large Hi-C were still a must though).
\nSlowly, I started declining invitations to events that I really didn’t have the capacity for or desire to attend.
\nI began going to sleep by 12am, then 11pm, 10pm, and now, by 9:30pm on days I can swing it.
\nI started giving myself permission to take time off to rest. I would sit in the park on a blanket in the middle of the day.
\nAs I crossed that finish line after nearly two hours of running, sweating, crying (all my crybabies, please stand up 😀🙋🏽♀️), getting hit with self-doubt over and over again because I didn’t know how I was going to finish, reciting my favorite Bible verses and affirmations to get me through the tough moments, and then finally doing it, conquering not just the race, but the version of myself from just a few months before that thought there was no way I could finish something like that…
\nMan, it was a feeling I wish I could just bottle up and give to people.
\nI have been crying on and off throughout the day and even as I write this, I just feel so deeply held by gratitude and peace.
\n6 months ago, I was in the worst physical shape of my life.
\nAnd not too long before that, I was battling thoughts of suicide.
\nToday, I am the healthiest I’ve been in years, if not my whole life, and I know I have so much to live for now. For that, I am so deeply grateful.
\nI mean it with all my heart that our lives can become better beyond imagination.
\nBut understand that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
\nA better life is possible.
\nMy life looks so different than it did a year ago and it is infinitely better today.
\nAs I changed and bettered myself, my environment and the people I surrounded myself with followed.
\nA better life is possible.
\nI appreciate you being here and I hope you have a beautiful week.
\nThis Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 at 11am PST, I will be doing my first speaking engagement about my journey as a full-time student and entrepreneur/business owner. I’ll be sharing mistakes I’ve made along my journey and what I've learned to do instead.
\nIf you’d like to attend this free virtual event, please register here.
\n
\nHave any thoughts about this letter? Did anything resonate with you?
\nJust reply to this email to let me know. It makes my day to hear from you and I respond to every message.
\nSend a reply |
Dear Reader,
\nI hope life has been treating you well and that you have been treating you well, too. I appreciate you being here and I hope you have a beautiful week ahead.
\nTake good care.
\nWith love,
\n\n\n |
| \n\n |
\n | | \n\n |
from victim to victorious.Letter #018 September 23, 2023 in today's letter, we'll explore:
an illustration of six months ago.In March 2023, my health was probably the worst it’s ever been. My diet consisted of tons of restaurant, fast, and fried foods and daily desserts. I regularly used food as a coping mechanism, often eating until I physically couldn’t anymore. As a result of living like this for the past few years, I had gained 60+ pounds in a relatively short amount of time. My body felt stiff as a board and I experienced chronic pain each day. For months, I was in and out of urgent care and doctor appointments trying to diagnose and treat my frequent sicknesses, which were likely lifestyle-related and stress-induced. My immune system was also likely compromised due to my poor diet, high stress, and chronic lack of adequate sleep and rest. Lastly, I couldn’t really stand or walk for more than 20 minutes at a time without taking Advil or I would experience excruciating lower back pain. I felt like I had aged 15 years in the last 3. It was bad. Around this time, I had started going back to the gym but would stop pretty much anytime it wasn’t 100% convenient for me. As you can imagine, my lack of progress aptly reflected my inconsistent attendance. I had known for a while that I needed to make drastic changes to the way I ran my business because of the effects it was having on my health, so in mid-March, I finally began that process on the business side. However, I was dragging my feet on making progress toward restoring my health. Then, during the first week of April, I received one text from my coach and trainer Devyn that served as the catalyst for many of the positive changes to come. 1/2 year of not missing a workout.I returned to the gym on April 3rd and by April 8th, it was no longer convenient and I was ready to revert to my old ways. I had skipped my workout from the day before and was enjoying my Saturday when Devyn messaged me to ask if I was going to make time to do my workout from the previous day. So, I got up, went to the gym, and did my workout from Friday. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had an experience like this, but in that moment, I just made one seemingly small decision—that I wanted to learn what it meant to be committed—and from there my whole life began to change. I feel like something shifted in me that Saturday afternoon because since that week, I have not missed a single one of the 78 workouts I’ve had since. I also go for walks every day now. Today marks the 26th week of not missing a single workout, so I’ve officially made it to half a year, far exceeding any stretch of consistency I’ve had in the past. And most importantly, I’ve done it properly and sustainably this time. My relationship with food and my body are the best they’ve ever been. I have grown stronger physically, mentally, and spiritually and what this has done for my confidence, my trust in myself, and my sense of self-efficacy, has truly been remarkable. stop assuming you'll "get around" to the life you truly want to live.For so many years, I lived my life thinking that I would just sort of “get around to” the life I had always wanted to live. Sort of like it would just happen on its own accord. After a while, I became somewhat of a bystander in my own life. I was watching the effects of the choices I had made wreak chaos and havoc in my life. And often, those choices seemed harmless at the time I made them. But as time went on, I recognized when things weren’t aligning well with me anymore. But for years, it was so hard for me to walk away from habits, people, and situations that no longer supported me and who I was becoming. So, I’d stay. Much farther beyond the time I should have remained in those experiences. And the cost of staying could have well been the cost of the life I could have had and have always wanted to live. better choices, better life.For a long time, I saw the events and chapters of my life as something that happened to me. I was often not the change agent, but the one constantly being swayed and shifted by the people and circumstances around me. If they were good, then I was good and if they weren’t, then I wasn’t either. I lacked boundaries, assertiveness, and even grace when it came to dealing with others, partially because I rarely practiced them with myself.
My life felt hard, but my pain was self-chosen and I knew that.
I also knew that if I made different choices, I could live a better life.
easy choices, hard life;
|
Have any thoughts about this letter? Did anything resonate with you?
Just reply to this email to let me know. It makes my day to hear from you and I respond to every message.
Send a reply |
Dear Reader,
I hope life has been treating you well and that you have been treating you well, too. I appreciate you being here and I hope you have a beautiful week ahead.
Take good care.
With love,
|
I write weekly letters on personal development, life, and what I'm learning along the way. Delivered straight to your inbox every week.
how long? as long. Letter #027 June 16, 2024 dear younger me, This letter’s going to take on somewhat of a different form than usual. Or at least that’s what it feels like as I start this one—perhaps you can let me know after? Oftentimes, when I set out to write these letters, I feel: inspired, and positive, hopeful, and sometimes, even excited and upbeat. But honestly, I don’t really feel most of that circulating within me right now…maybe hope, but that’s it. And I don’t think that’s...
i dedicate this next part to you. 🚗 Letter #026 May 19, 2024 dear younger me, There’s something I would like to share with you 🤍 In 34 days, I’ll be moving on from sunny Southern California, the place I’ve called home for the last 10 years. I’d like to say this decision came after much deliberation…but it didn’t lol. I made it on Thursday and it just might be the easiest yes of my life so far. I’ve shared this plan with a few folks in person and the first question after “wtf, are you...
this isn't it for you. Letter #025 March 31, 2024 dear younger me, Good morning. I'm currently emerging from the most intense depressive episode I've ever experienced. I know that's probably not the intro you expected on this delightful Easter Sunday. But it's the truth. No long intro today—let's just get into it. in today's letter, we'll explore: world bipolar day (march 30th) my attempt to describe depression to someone who's never had it shame & mental illness→ when was the last time shame...